I'm so angry. It's not fair when young wonderful people need to go away so suddenly. The death of a young girl in a car accident on sunday has really triggered a lot of memories about my cousin dying. I had kinda thought I was completely over it, still missing him, but the tears weren't coming anymore until tonight. And now I'm mad all over again. It's just not fair, I can't ever call him just to talk, spending time having fun with a group of people that I would normally be goofing around and bantering back and forth with Ash, just makes me feel like I stick out when I act like a retard, he always made me feel so comfortable to just be goofy. God, I miss him so much.

I just don't get it, I don't get why we have to be put through things like this, sometimes I look at this as something that was really good for me, cause it made me appreciate all the wonderful people in my life, but days like today, I just really feel sorry for me, and for anyone else who has had to lose a young loved one, cause it always seems like its too early. But I trust that God has a plan and that it all happened for a reason, unfortunately some days are harder than others. I feel for anyone who doesn't have the hope that God has a plan in all our lives cause without that hope, how awful would death be and how empty life would be.