some random thoughts....

Life always baffles me... I never know where I'm gonna go next or how I'm gonna get there. I just go step by step and see where life takes me.

Of course I have my dreams, like living on a ten acre plot, with a horse or two, and just enough time to go riding, raise 3 -5 kids, and be a wife. And then there are days when I think about my career and where I want to go with that. I love working, but at the same time, when I have children, I would really like to stay home with them. Luckily for me, I'm sure I won't have children any time soon. So for now I get to focus on my career. Now the goal is not to be too focussed on my career and to actually be working at reaching my dreams. Being able to be home with my children, or for starters, to even have children... which ultimately means... finding a man.


I tend to live my life in this step by step... and I don't ever really work towards any major things, I quite often have things just happen to me... and then work hard at them, but I never work hard to get something. If i get it, I get it, if I don't then why worry over it. Sometimes this way of life can be a negative thing because sometimes you don't get something if you don't work for it. But I guess I am always just scared that I will make a poor decision and that I will work my whole life trying to get something that maybe God doesn't intend for me to have. This is where I struggle. When should I work hard to get something and when should I just wait it out and see what happens.