I've felt really challenged lately within my daily life to really put my focus on God. I don't see how people can go through life just doing "good" things, without understanding why we are called to do "good" things, not understanding why it feels so good when we do what is right. What is right does not mean obeying the "rules," it means doing things that God calls us to do, things like loving our neighbor as ourselves, things like admitting when we are wrong, things like humbling ourselves to see when others are hurting etc... I think that these are the important things in life, caring for each other, helping one another and overall making time for God's people saved or unsaved. So often as Christians we get in these ruts where we worry SO much about what is right and wrong, that instead of loving our neighbor we instead ridicule, judge and overall look down on them, sometimes we pity them for we see their sin, pity in itself is not wrong, but with an opinion about what they should be doing we are thus condemning their actions and it is not our job to condemn. It is our job as Christians to show God's love to those around us, he'll work the quirks out. He'll show them their faults, just as he's done with each of us.

I have been very blessed with some good friends who have never judged me, they've loved me through everything. They've loved me when I've strayed, they've loved me when I have been strong, opinionated, whatever, these people, are the ones that I want to be like.

I've really been angry at God in the last year after my cousin Ashley's death, haven't really been able to deal with any other deaths after this, as Ashley's death was the last straw, I couldn't bear the thought of never being able to do all the fun things that we did together again. I put my all into being there for others who needed me and somehow that filled the emptiness, but it didn't last long... maybe 9 or so months. Then, I just got angry. I was mad at God for taking him from me, I was mad at the world for forgetting him, and I was even mad at the people that I love the most in the world for continually bringing up his memory, I just wanted to forget that he ever existed, forget that he's gone, I just wanted to forget, period. As you can see NONE of these things are healthy when dealing with death. Lately, I've realized, and I know it's gonna sound totally cliche... but, God has a reason for everything and if we just trust that he is in control, then even the shitiest of things in life seem to make sense. We can see the good in a bad situation, not to say that there are never going to be moments when you are sad, mad, etc... but that there is light at the end of every tunnel.

Life is not easy, no one ever said it was, we all have our faults, we all struggle, we all cry, we all fail... it's our nature, we're human. BUT God is AMAZING. He can do anything and through him, we can do anything. That's why it's so important for us to love one another, we're all at different spots in life, we've all been through crap, we've all succeeded at something, we've all FAILED, but there is hope, hope is Christ. There is life in him and through him all things are possible. And as I've recently been reminded "when you see one set of footprints, it is then that he carries us." He doesn't leave us. He is Omnipresent, Omniscient, and Omnipotent. Who better than to trust in someone who can be everywhere, know everything and who is all powerful, all at once. He is AMAZING.