So many people write about the events in their life, and I so enjoy reading it, but I am so not good at this, but I am good at sharing what I'm thinking, where God is leading me, where life is leading me, current struggles, current thoughts, that stuff... I'm good at sharing. So I'm gonna quit trying to be like everyone else, who knows I might write the occasional blog about an event, if it's a big one, but for now, I'll keep my event posting to pictures on facebook, it's more real to me.

Tonight is a bad night, a rare one lately. I've been having such a good time. Things have been looking up. I've joined a bible study, and I'm really enjoying it, although I was terrified to go, and didn't want anyone to know that, and so always made excuses, but I have run out of excuses and decided I'm a chicken and If I don't want to bitch about my crappy life, than I better do something about it, cause only I can change it. So I've started with little things. Like bible study, the gym, and reading again... I haven't read in ages, except the chapter a night that I read from the bible, and the occasional pick up a book and kill time read. Which isn't at all enjoyable.


I like to read, I like to be with people, and I like to be a positive person, so why lately have I not been this way. To be completely honest, I haven't the darndest. but I do believe it has a lot to do with my attitude, my fears, change, and many other things. But mainly, it's me not making it a priority in my life. My weight, my happiness, my life are not priorities to me. And that is something I'm about to change, because only when I am happy and I am content can I really make a difference, otherwise I end up being so wrapped up in my unhappiness that I don't reach others. I don't return phonecalls, cause I don't feel like talking, I make excuses for everything, I complain because I have no money, (WHO CARES!?!?) I complain because my friends don't make an effort to see me. But am I making an Effort to see them. Don't be surprised if you guys hear from me more often. Or at least see me out at public functions.


So here's to looking at life, and taking it one stride at a time, Don't focus on the negative, think about the good things. Friends, laughter, bonding, exercise, enjoying things... rather than sitting in a hole that I call pathetic.